The Many Faces of Domestic Violence
- Ree Nitya
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
SEXESS
LinkedIn Articles
Awareness Series — The Many Faces
It doesn’t always look like what you think.
Most people picture domestic violence as one specific thing. A certain kind of relationship. A certain kind of person. A certain kind of hit.
That picture is incomplete. And that incompleteness is costing people their safety.
Abuse has no single address. It lives wherever power is misused and trust is broken.
It comes from a parent. A spouse. A teacher. A boss. A pastor. A coach. A best friend. A neighbor. A sibling. A caregiver. It doesn’t have to be a romantic partner to count. It just has to hurt you consistently and on purpose.
Here are the faces most people don’t talk about enough.
Physical Abuse
Hitting, slapping, pushing, choking, restraining, throwing objects, blocking exits. The one most people recognize.
But it’s only one face.
Emotional & Psychological Abuse
Gaslighting. Humiliation. Constant criticism. Making you feel crazy. Destroying your confidence until you can’t trust your own mind.
No bruises. Just a person who no longer recognizes themselves.
Financial & Economic Abuse
Controlling all the money. Sabotaging your job. Running up debt in your name. Making you beg for basic necessities.
When leaving feels impossible because you have nothing — that was planned.
Digital & Technological Abuse
Monitoring your phone. Tracking your location. Controlling your social media. Stalking your accounts. Sharing intimate images without consent.
Abuse follows you into every room now. Even the ones you’re alone in.
Spiritual Abuse
Using religion or faith to justify control. Telling you God wants you to obey. Using scripture as a weapon. Isolating you from your spiritual community.
Faith should set you free. Not keep you trapped.
Isolation
Cutting you off from family. Turning friends against you. Making you dependent on one person for everything.
First they become your whole world. Then they make sure of it.
Coercive Control
A pattern of behavior that takes away your freedom. Doesn’t have to include physical violence. Rules, monitoring, punishment, humiliation — sustained over time.
This is abuse. Even if they never touched you.
Reproductive Coercion
Controlling birth control. Forced pregnancy or forced termination. Using children as weapons or threats.
Your body. Your choice. Always. When that’s taken — that’s abuse.
Elder Abuse
Financial exploitation. Physical harm. Emotional manipulation. Isolation from family. Neglect.
Age doesn’t protect you. And it shouldn’t disqualify you from help.
Same-Sex & LGBTQ+ Relationship Abuse
Abuse happens in every kind of relationship. LGBTQ+ survivors face additional barriers — being outed, being told it doesn’t count, systems that weren’t built for them.
It counts. You count. Full stop.
Male Victims
Men are abused by women. Men are abused by men. Male victims are dramatically underreported because they are dismissed, disbelieved, and shamed into silence.
The statistics don’t capture the full picture. We know that. You matter.
Child to Parent Abuse
Yes. This is real. Adult children and teenagers who abuse parents exist. Parents who are victims exist. This is rarely talked about and almost never supported.
Every victim deserves to be seen.
If any of these felt familiar — that’s not an accident.
Domestic violence has many faces. So do survivors.
84% of survivors in Spokane County receive no meaningful help. Sexess was built for that 84% — direct aid, no waitlist, no fixed capacity. Every dollar spent on a person, not a property.
If you or someone you know needs help:
sexess.org | ask@sexess.org | PayPal: ask@sexess.org
If you want to share this — please do. Awareness is the first door.
Ree Nitya
Founder of Sexess, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit breaking cycles of domestic violence and sexual assault in Spokane, WA, and Intimology, a relationship education platform. She holds 25+ certifications in relationship education, trauma-informed practice, and nonprofit management.
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